We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
