i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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