Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
