Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
