i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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