Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
