He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize