I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
whose parrot is this?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
