Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
