I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
