Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i barfeds in our rink
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
