She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
