Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
