Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
