Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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