Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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