We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
