You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
