I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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