the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
