this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
