i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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