I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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