Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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