What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
