not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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