I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You just made me feel so damn special
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
