3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
ugly people sure do ruin things
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
