Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
