well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
