One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
