I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
