I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
