Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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