Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
