two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
