i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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