I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
