I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
