Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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