You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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