So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
