I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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