I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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