I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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