his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
