I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She bit a glass in half.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
