Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It's just like the Real World with babies
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
