In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im holly from the hills drunk
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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