Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
